The other day we had an epiphany on our counter. Actually it took the form of a coffee stain, which took the form of a face: Needless to say, we were thrilled. As you can clearly see, this is not … Continue reading →

You remember Barfy, that dog whose family accidentally stranded him in the jungles of Borneo? You know, that inspirational story about how he fought off hungry natives, making his way to that rough port town, where he did whatever it took …

I’ve been kvetching about Klout for a few months. I blogged about it in June, complaining that the social media measurement company turns people into numbers. And then, when the company changed the way they measure people’s online influence, I …

My friend Victoria Dahl was trying to convince me and the rest of the Twitterverse that she was wearing ” very sexy fuzzy Christmas socks.” I was skeptical. Her response: “Come on, John! Probably you just need a visual. A …

We in the Ochwat clan are still reeling from news of a Pokémon character that practically has our name. His name is actually Oshawott, but as you can see from this parade of ineptitude, our name gets misspelled all the … Continue reading &

We Ochwats have an unfair advantage in the irony department. For some, it takes until graduate school in the humanities to learn about the floating signifier (i.e., the sign that doesn’t point to an actual object, or an agreed-upon meaning). …

I have my first piece in The Nervous Breakdown, “an online literary publication type deal.” It’s titled “A Tale of Two Nominees: Justin Bieber and Esperanza Spalding,” and it uses the 2011 Grammy awards as a pivot to discuss two …

A few days ago, the CEO’s executive assistant stopped me in the hall, and asked if I would be a judge in the company dessert contest. Would I! I love dessert. I live for desserts. I’m old enough to have …

The Stanley Cup is visiting the Portland area, part of its summer PR tour (in these tough economic times, I guess even icons have to promote). Hockey’s great trophy, which was originally a decorative English punch bowl, was downtown today. …

Trimet opened a brand-spanking-new bike facility at the Beaverton Transit Center yesterday. Plenty of the local mandarins turned out and speechified, and for good reason. It’s a nice-looking facility, with lots of secure, covered parking for bikes that requires a …

As you can see on the right there, I’m on Twitter. Instead of going through twitter.com, I use a third-party app called Hootsuite, which shows followers, following, number of updates, and a number for something called Klout. I’ve never liked …

For the past five years I’ve written a sustainability tip for my company newsletter. This past week I imitated Paul Slansky, who used to do brilliant quizzes in the New Yorker during, as he calls it, “the Bush coup d’etat.” …

I’ve been writing about my trip to Paris recently, and because I have a copy sitting around, I picked up Ernest Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast, his memoir of living in Paris as part of the American expatriate circle of writers …

The other day I blogged about the difficulties of capturing a certain blue heron, because on the days I see him, I have only a crap cell phone camera with me — and when I bring a better camera, he’s … Continue readi

Back in the early 1970s, Sasquatch (a.k.a. Bigfoot) was all the rage. He was allegedly a large, hairy ape-like biped who roamed the forests of the Pacific Northwest. Actually, our hairy friend was part of the rage, which also included … Con

In the comments to my blog post “A Tale of Two Countries, and their Snack Foods,” one commenter asked, “Would you be able to tell us where in Paris you had that memorable pain au chocolat?” Good question — and … Continu

I saw this sign in Paris and it gave me a chuckle, so I took a picture. Flunch. It looks like a typo, or one of those cute Euro near-misses at rendering a sign in English. It took me another … Continue reading →

I don’t typically go around espousing consumer goods and services, but sometimes you just gotta. This morning the Supreme Court “gave corporations a major win Wednesday, ruling in a 5-4 decision that companies can block their disgruntled customers from joining …

I recently traveled to Paris, which offered me a chance to observe all sorts of things, including the stunningly important issue of the ways airlines differ in feeding their passengers. On Air France, the morning snack service consisted of the …

“USA Today, the top newspaper in the country (circulation-wise), is rumored to be considering offering its writers page view bonuses.” — Business Insider Mortgage rates change less than Donald Trump’s hair By Joey Cothaw, USA Today NEW YORK — Despite …

Name: Ulsrud Bjork Position: Skip, Norway Injury: Slipped on the hack and twisted his ankle. Strained right rotator cuff after throwing a beer bottle at his friend for laughing at his “so-called curling injury.” Game Status: Uncertain (depends on supply …

I have a slightly embarrassing confession, which if you read the title of this post you might have guessed: I suck at Goodreads. For those of you who aren’t obsessive book types, Goodreads is a sort of “social cataloging” site …

My son is in second grade, which is an exciting time because his literacy is exploding. A while back, he narrated a day when we were packing up to leave his grandma’s house. He must have then decided one of … Continue reading →

Wanted: Intern for a challenging-fast paced position. Duties will include finding my socks, sorting my socks into color-matching pairs, and storing my socks in appropriate drawers. Intern will also recommend which outdated pairs of socks should be culled, and draft …

I have a theory about covers of songs. It goes like this: if you play the song exactly the way it was recorded or performed by its original artist, it’s much less interesting than if you, you know, change it … Continue reading U

That’s Bob Smith. Do you know him? I’m not sure I know him either — but Facebook is convinced I do. See for months, every time I had a moment of cognitive weakness and clicked on People You May Know, … Conti

1. Unreliable online presence, especially during times of peak nut-gathering, or when they’re in rut. 2. Despite user statistics showing a varied audience demographic, they tweet obsessively about digging, blinking, gathering, sniffing, and eating. And sometimes forgetting where they dug …

I recently attended a talk by literary agent April Eberhardt. Her talk, The New Era of Publishing: How to Choose the Best Option for You,” outlined the rapidly changing publishing landscape. Her thesis is that “the power is shifting to …

The Oregonian is running an Associated Press story saying that “Facebook users who check in to a store or click the ‘like’ button for a brand may soon find those actions retransmitted on their friends’ pages as a ‘Sponsored Story’ …

With the exception of a few oddball blog posts, I would call myself a fairly normal person. I work, I raise my kids. I enjoy books and movies. At Christmas we enjoyed watching “It’s A Wonderful Life,” but I was …