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Dean Kirkland

Dingleberry Gazette

http://beastard.wordpress.com/

Located in Portland

Last update: December 5th, 2016 at 08:33 pm

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8 post clicks in the past 90 days

Just another WordPress.com weblog

People often ask how I can tolerate working with the public? It’s not easy, but 99 out of 100 people are nice and just want their Twinkies or whatever. However, out of a thousand people, that leaves ten assholes. Sounds like a proper ratio. I have been training new workers. I preach tolerance, but there […]

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It’s true, there’s nothing like the unconditional love of a dog. There has almost always been a dog in my life, and not on purpose. As an adult, I couldn’t justify taking responsibility for another life when I couldn’t control my own. And I’m too selfish. But, others have dogs, and like childre

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2016 has been one hell of a rough year, and it’s not over yet. Mrs Brady died last night. Damn. (Florence Henderson, not my Mrs Brady. She works at the weed store across from Rain’s.) I have lost friends, and mortal luminaries from the music and video world have gone to the great beyond. So […]

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When I get the combination just right, reality looks like this. Happy Fried Day, everybody!

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I’m cold. I grew up in Sandy, Oregon, 25 miles from downtown Portland and about 50 miles to Mt Hood, elevation 978 feet. (Give or take. Dad always called it “a thousand feet.”) It was colder than sea level, but hardly arctic. Growing up a fat kid, cold didn’t bother me. I never believed in […]

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How was work? Oh, just another night in the funhouse. http://www.kgw.com/news/local/night-four-of-trump-protests/351279890 This was life around the Nightclub Store. The evening started quietly, but halfway through lunch I heard the helicopters, and then the jeers. Yup, we’re doing it again. I had my store key on a lan

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I’m so sick of politics. Part Three. Since the election, Trumpers have been walking around gloating, and the HRC camp (under-forty) are pissed and rioting in the streets. (“Voicing their opinion” as they call it.) Opinions are like assholes, and downtown has been full of opinions since the election. I just

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Election Day, 2016. I thought it would never get here. I am so sick of politics. (I said that yesterday, didn’t I?) I decided to get out of the house, and out of my head. I sparked up my usual morning doobie, and took a train ride. I decided I would drop by and see […]

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It’s been a long, miserable year. I’m sick of politics. I’ve seen far too many favorite people die. Laws have changed, some for the better, some not so much. It’s like the deck has been shuffled. I have the same amount of a stake, but the game has been changed. Drugs in general have gotten […]

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There are times when my patience impresses even me. Work has been, well, work. Lots of personnel changes, new managers, new stores. My recent floating between stores is morphing into having a home base. Until further notice, I will be spending time at the Nightclub Store, under the newly-promoted Eva Braun. Store managers d

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It was the best-kept secret in the history of Master P’s stores. It wasn’t until the day before the actual announcement that I learned the location of the new store. It’s in the West End, on the tip of the Pink Zone in what used to be called Vaseline Alley. Yup, we are now running […]

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I have a new weapon in the war on crime. It was a typical Friday night. Everyone’s been paid, but it wasn’t too busy. At 10 PM the drinkers are out, and the street trash is drunk and either ready to crash or just getting started. (Meth, the wonder drug.) I see it all from […]

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My cousin and I have a medical grow operation. (It’s his, I just help every possible way.) For the past thirty years he’s had the best weed around, and I stick to that statement, even in this day of dispensaries on every corner. “It takes about a hundred grand,” is his statement to anyone who […

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Rain has been living with me for a couple years, off and on. It’s a cozy arrangement. I have a bedroom that’s about 12×15, in which we share a single bed, and a TV slightly larger than that. That we haven’t killed each other is a testament to ongoing love, because I’m sure we’ve both [R

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I roll in after midnight, usually closer to 1 AM. Come home, watch a rerun of the 11 o’clock news, eat something, and crash. Repeat 4-5 times a week. Then I got a girlfriend. I work a lot, pay a lot for cable/internet, and feel as though it should be used, so I encourage Rain […]

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I roll in after midnight, usually closer to 1 AM. Come home, watch a rerun of the 11 o’clock news, eat something, and crash. Repeat 4-5 times a week. Then I got a girlfriend. I work a lot, pay a lot for cable/internet, and feel as though it should be used, so I encourage Rain […]

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Today has been strange. I didn’t get up until 1 PM, and then only to return to bed for a nap. About 3 PM, I went to the Kwik-E-Mart for pop and a coffee for Rain. She was still sleeping when I got home. It’s winter wonderland outside. There has been a bit of freezing […]

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Today has been strange. I didn’t get up until 1 PM, and then only to return to bed for a nap. About 3 PM, I went to the Kwik-E-Mart for pop and a coffee for Rain. She was still sleeping when I got home. It’s winter wonderland outside. There has been a bit of freezing […]

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“Hi! I’d like to talk to you about Jesus.” I was waiting to board the MAX at Pioneer Square. “No thanks, not interested.” He was a young man, maybe thirty years old. Scruffy but not unkempt. “How can you not be interested in the bible?” “Easy. Watch me.” I turned away. &

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“Hi! I’d like to talk to you about Jesus.” I was waiting to board the MAX at Pioneer Square. “No thanks, not interested.” He was a young man, maybe thirty years old. Scruffy but not unkempt. “How can you not be interested in the bible?” “Easy. Watch me.” I turned away. &

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For the past five years or so, one of my favorite customers has been Crazy Cat Woman Carol. I use the term customer loosely; she has been kicked out of the store by most of my co-workers, including my manager, Southie. She was finally 86ed for real the other day, and as you might guess, […]

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For the past five years or so, one of my favorite customers has been Crazy Cat Woman Carol. I use the term customer loosely; she has been kicked out of the store by most of my co-workers, including my manager, Southie. She was finally 86ed for real the other day, and as you might guess, […]

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It’s been a few months since I’ve been a regular here. I’ve missed writing. I still create in my head, while other forms of social media have distracted me and fed the creative brain. I love Twitter, even if it’s turning into a non-stop barrage of ads and nonsense. I love the concept of micro-bloggin

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It’s been a few months since I’ve been a regular here. I’ve missed writing. I still create in my head, while other forms of social media have distracted me and fed the creative brain. I love Twitter, even if it’s turning into a non-stop barrage of ads and nonsense. I love the concept of micro-bloggin

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…And their sons. This one’s going to the dogs. People ask how I tolerate the assholes at work? The mouthy tough-guys who run up to you like they’re going to hit you? If they can get you to flinch, they think they can bully you. I stand steely-eyed and ask, “What’s your point?” See, if [&#

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…And their sons. This one’s going to the dogs. People ask how I tolerate the assholes at work? The mouthy tough-guys who run up to you like they’re going to hit you? If they can get you to flinch, they think they can bully you. I stand steely-eyed and ask, “What’s your point?” See, if [&#

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“DURR!” I couldn’t help but flash back to the South Park episode where Cartman pretends to be retarded to win the Special Olympics. Last night’s Petty Criminal of the Day wasn’t that stupid, but there were some fairly hilarious moments. I was training one of many new people. Fortunately, they g

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“DURR!” I couldn’t help but flash back to the South Park episode where Cartman pretends to be retarded to win the Special Olympics. Last night’s Petty Criminal of the Day wasn’t that stupid, but there were some fairly hilarious moments. I was training one of many new people. Fortunately, they g

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It had been a month since my altercation with Kevin, the dude who looks like the butt-baby of Samuel L Jackson and Fred Sanford. As the days passed, he became bolder. He would walk past, eyeing me and grinning. He would peek around the corner, and I would pretend not to see him, then watch […]

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It had been a month since my altercation with Kevin, the dude who looks like the butt-baby of Samuel L Jackson and Fred Sanford. As the days passed, he became bolder. He would walk past, eyeing me and grinning. He would peek around the corner, and I would pretend not to see him, then watch […]

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