Bitter old man: So they told you no more plastic bags?Checker: No, I just came in one day and they were gone.Bitter old man: That Sam Adams, (grumble chuckle grumble)Checker: Actually, Fred Meyer decided on their own to stop using plastic bags.

Douche Bag #1: How many strips clubs have you been to in California?Douche Bag #2: I dunno, 4 or 5.Douche Bag#1: And were the strippers hot?Douche Bag #2: Most of them.Douche Bag #1: Well prepare yourself, 'cause here the girls are WAY

Unseen woman in stall 1: I mean, if you're going to have a baby in a public bathroom, at least take it with you when you leave. Unseen woman in stall 2: Right!- Sweet Tomatoes restaurant bathroom (Clackamas)-- Overheard by Jill

A Hipster gal riding her bike sans helmet, while smoking a cigarette, says to her friend, about Burgerville: ...An antifast food fast food place.

Man to woman, sitting in the sun on the bar's patio drinking a beer: Just think -- if we lived in San Diego, we could do this every day.Woman: If we had a baby sitter.Man: And if we liked the sun.- At the Moon and Sixpence-- Overheard by Leila

One bicyclist to another: Yeah, but would you TRUST a homing pigeon?- In the Alberta area-- Overheard by Raevyn

Real phone conversation from a weird looking dude:Guess what, your test is coming up in 2 days, and it will be 20% of your grade, I guess you're screwed. I am 39 years old, and you're 23. I'm all the way over this side of town, and you want me to head over to your house and help you with your test. Once I

Dad: That canvasser gave me the creeps. He had a lot of makeup on.Kid: How come guys don't wear makeup?Dad: We don't care what we look like.- NW Trader Joes-- Overheard by Rich

Guy on his cell phone repeating a conversation he had with someone else: He was like, no I'm not dating her. I'm married, but its ok since my wife is handicapped.- Westbound Blue Line MAX-- Overheard by Brian

Homeless-smelling dude who always just talks and talks on the bus to no one in particular: Are you a Christopher Cross fan? You look like a Christopher Cross fan.- #12 bus headed downtown-- Overheard by Eric

Kid (to waitress): Are you cranky today?- Stepping Stone-- Overheard by Rich

Woman 1: Why did Michael Jackson have to die? There's so many other people out there that coulda died!Woman 2: Michael Jackson had to die cause he had a prescription drug addiction, and God don't like that. - PCC-- Overheard by Erin

Woman: (crying)Man: Would you stop crying so I can fucking share.- After a Timbers game-- Overheard by Ellie

Woman: Hey! You took your arm off my shoulders again!Man: I'm sorry! I'm catholic...- Overheard by Cecilia

Gal: You had me at "Bag of dicks."- Muu Muu's-- Overheard by Rich

Guy: You know that woman's book "Eat, Pray, Love?" I'm writing a book about my own journey and I'm calling it: "Drink, Whore, Nap."- PDX airport-- Overheard by Rich

Overheard at Kenton post office when Ace of Base's "All That She Wants" started playing behind two Boomer-aged male employees:USPS Guy 1: All that she wants is another baby, Ken...- Overheard by Jeff

At a Starbucks inside a Safeway at SE 122nd and Glisan...."Are you sure this is a real Starbucks? They don't even have CDs."- Overheard by Christopher

Two teenagers talking in a yard: Teenager 1: What do you think a parakeet would look like in a snowstorm?Teenager 2: I don't know...angry and confused?- Overheard by Victoria

"Catherine the Great got fucked by a horse and SHE turned out okay!"- NE PDX-- Overheard by Meredith

Little old lady (to teenager): Well the white Gummi Bears are better for sex anyway...- Doctor's office waiting room-- Overheard by Matt, who writes: "I wish I could have heard the rest of the conversation, before and after."

Two women walking: What does Patrick Swayze have to do with the price of tea in China?- 9th & Lloyd NE May 6, 2010 @ 3:45 p.m.-- Overheard by Paulette

Kid pushing shopping cart, yields politely to senior citizen.Kid: Old people first!- Fred Meyer on Burnside-- Overheard by Rich

Cycling past three youngsters climbing around on a porch. Saturday afternoon, near SE Trader Joe's:Boy: Hey! Let's go ask people if they're hobos!- Overheard by Broadside Johnnie

Woman: This pink lemonade isn't very strong.Bartender: Oh, it's plenty strong. It's that tart flavor that makes it kind of sneaky.Woman: No. I mean it needs more alcohol.Bartender: Perhaps you have a drinking problem.- Muu-Mu

Woman to friend: She had an extra liver.... I mean, an extra kidney.- Outside cafe on Clinton Street-- Overheard by Kristen

Homeless guy to his buddys: There's a difference between a violin and a fiddle; you can't spill a beer in a violin.- SW 6th and Yamhill-- Overheard by Rich

Two women who don't know each other.Woman 1: (looking at the Woman 2's nose peircing) Did you do that yourself?Woman 2: Yeah (goes on to explain how it's painless, and she's done it for family)Woman 1: Could you do mine?Woman 2: Sure!

Customer: How hot is your mild?Thai Cart Owner: Medium spicy.Customer: Ok, I'd like mine medium-hot.- At the 4th and Alder food carts-- Overheard by John

My dog and another dog met, sniffed, and then the other dog got a bit growly. Woman to small dog who was growling at my dog: I know you don't like a direct stare, but you can always break it...- Submitted by Erin